73 Absurd Would You Rather Questions
73 Absurd Would You Rather Questions

Ever found yourself in a situation where the only options presented are completely bizarre, hilariously strange, or just plain weird? That's where Absurd Would You Rather Questions come in! These aren't your average "would you rather have wings or be able to breathe underwater" kind of questions. We're talking about scenarios that make you scratch your head, burst out laughing, and maybe even ponder the true meaning of your life. These questions are designed to be so outlandish that they force you to think outside the box and consider possibilities you never imagined.

What Makes Absurd Would You Rather Questions So Great?

Absurd Would You Rather Questions are all about pushing the boundaries of imagination. They take everyday concepts and twist them into something extraordinary and often comical. Think about it: instead of choosing between two slightly inconvenient things, you're presented with two equally improbable, inconvenient, or just plain silly choices. The beauty of these questions lies in their ability to spark conversation and reveal unique perspectives. They're not about finding the "right" answer, but about exploring the "why" behind your choice. The importance of these questions lies in their power to break the ice, encourage creative thinking, and foster genuine connection through shared laughter and wonder.

These questions are popular for a bunch of reasons. For starters, they're incredibly fun! They can turn a dull moment into an engaging game. They're also fantastic conversation starters, whether you're with friends, family, or even new acquaintances. Plus, they’re a great way to test your friends' sense of humor and how they handle the truly strange. Here are some ways they're often used:

  • Icebreakers at parties or gatherings.
  • Fun activities for road trips or sleepovers.
  • Creative writing prompts or brainstorming exercises.
  • Just for a good laugh when you need one!

When you're faced with an absurd choice, it's not about making a practical decision. It’s about engaging with the ridiculousness of the situation. You have to visualize the scenario, consider the consequences (however nonsensical), and then commit to one of the bizarre options. It's like a mental workout for your imagination! Here are a few examples of how the choices might be presented:

  1. Would you rather have a permanent unibrow or have your nose whistle a jaunty tune whenever you’re nervous?
  2. Would you rather be able to talk to animals but they all complain about their problems, or be able to fly but only at the speed of a brisk walk?
  3. Would you rather have to wear socks on your hands for the rest of your life, or have to sing everything you say like an opera singer?

Everyday Absurdity

  • Would you rather have to eat every meal with a miniature plastic spork or have to drink all your beverages out of a tiny novelty thimble?
  • Would you rather have your reflection in mirrors always be three seconds behind you or have your shadow occasionally wave at strangers?
  • Would you rather have to speak in rhymes for an hour each day or have to communicate only through interpretive dance for thirty minutes each day?
  • Would you rather have to wear a clown nose every Tuesday or have to wear a giant rubber chicken on your head every Friday?
  • Would you rather have squirrels follow you everywhere, narrating your life in squeaky voices, or have pigeons constantly try to deliver you tiny, nonsensical letters?
  • Would you rather have to sneeze glitter every time you laugh, or hiccup bubbles whenever you get surprised?
  • Would you rather have your hair change color based on your mood, but always to an embarrassing shade, or have your feet sweat in different flavored jelly beans?
  • Would you rather have to apologize to inanimate objects you bump into or have to compliment strangers' footwear with overly enthusiastic praise?
  • Would you rather have every song you hear get stuck in your head permanently, but you can choose which song, or have the theme song of a cheesy 80s sitcom play every time you enter a room?
  • Would you rather have to wear a giant inflatable T-Rex costume to all important events or have to communicate solely through a kazoo?
  • Would you rather have your dreams be broadcast on a public billboard every morning or have your most embarrassing childhood memory played on repeat on all TVs?
  • Would you rather have to iron your clothes while wearing them or have to fold your laundry while it’s still spinning in the washing machine?
  • Would you rather have to eat a spoonful of mayonnaise every time you feel hungry or have to drink a shot of pickle juice every time you feel thirsty?
  • Would you rather have to wear shoes on the wrong feet for the rest of your life or have to wear gloves on your feet for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather have your phone battery always be at 1% or have your phone autocorrect every word to “banana”?
  • Would you rather have to apologize to your alarm clock every morning or have to give a motivational speech to your coffee maker?
  • Would you rather have to hop on one foot whenever you’re feeling stressed or have to quack like a duck whenever you’re feeling excited?
  • Would you rather have your Wi-Fi signal be replaced by smoke signals or have your internet connection only work when you’re singing show tunes?
  • Would you rather have a personal rain cloud that follows you indoors and outdoors or have a personal spotlight that follows you everywhere you go, even in the dark?
  • Would you rather have your teeth randomly glow in the dark or have your ears wiggle uncontrollably when you’re concentrating?

Bodily Bizarre

  • Would you rather have your nose glow like a Rudolph reindeer during the holidays or have your ears sprout tiny, decorative flowers when you're happy?
  • Would you rather sweat cheese and cry milk or sweat milk and cry cheese?
  • Would you rather have to lick every doorknob you touch or have to give a thumbs-up to every person you pass on the street?
  • Would you rather have your fingernails grow an inch every day or have your toenails grow an inch every day?
  • Would you rather have to eat with your feet or have to walk on your hands for an hour each day?
  • Would you rather have your voice sound like a chipmunk whenever you're angry or have your laughter sound like a dying goat whenever you're amused?
  • Would you rather have a tail that wags uncontrollably when you’re embarrassed or have wings that sprout from your back but can only flap slowly?
  • Would you rather have to sneeze confetti whenever you sneeze or have to fart rainbows whenever you're stressed?
  • Would you rather have your hair be made of spaghetti or have your skin be made of bread dough?
  • Would you rather have to wear oven mitts on your hands for the rest of your life or have to wear swim fins on your feet for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather have your eyes change color based on the weather, but always to an ugly shade, or have your nose run with maple syrup when it’s cold?
  • Would you rather have to sing happy birthday to yourself every time you accomplish something or have to do a little jig every time you answer the phone?
  • Would you rather have your stomach growl with the sound of a full orchestra or have your sneezes sound like a foghorn?
  • Would you rather have your skin constantly feel like it’s covered in sticky jam or have your tongue perpetually feel like it’s coated in sandpaper?
  • Would you rather have to wear a giant sombrero every day for the rest of your life or have to wear a tiny, uncomfortable fascinator hat every day for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather have your hands perpetually smell like garlic or have your feet perpetually smell like rotten eggs?
  • Would you rather have to shout “Bazinga!” every time you make a joke or have to perform a small, dramatic bow after every sentence?
  • Would you rather have your ears emit a soft, humming sound whenever you're bored or have your nose twitch like a rabbit's when you're curious?
  • Would you rather have to eat cereal with chopsticks or have to drink soup with a fork?
  • Would you rather have your body temperature fluctuate wildly throughout the day, from freezing to boiling, or have your skin change texture randomly, from smooth to scaly?

Animalistic Adventures

  • Would you rather be able to talk to all farm animals, but they only complain about the weather, or be able to understand the secret thoughts of all insects, but they’re all incredibly boring?
  • Would you rather have a permanent bird's nest in your hair that grows real bird eggs or have a pet octopus that lives in your toilet and offers philosophical advice?
  • Would you rather have to moo like a cow every time you agree with someone or have to bark like a dog every time you disagree?
  • Would you rather be able to communicate with cats but they only ask you for food and naps, or be able to communicate with dogs but they only want to play fetch?
  • Would you rather have a swarm of friendly, but very noisy, butterflies follow you everywhere or have a single, judgmental owl perch on your shoulder and critique your decisions?
  • Would you rather have to wear a tail like a monkey or have to grow a mane like a lion?
  • Would you rather have your best friend be a talking goldfish with a terrible memory or a sarcastic parrot who constantly tries to sell you insurance?
  • Would you rather be able to fly like a bird but only in circles, or be able to swim like a fish but only backwards?
  • Would you rather have to shed your skin like a snake once a month, but it's a very itchy process, or have to molt your feathers like a bird, but they’re bright pink and embarrassing?
  • Would you rather have to communicate with everyone using only animal sounds or have to wear an animal mask to every social event?
  • Would you rather have a pet dragon the size of a hamster that breathes tiny puffs of smoke or a pet unicorn the size of a teacup that only eats glitter?
  • Would you rather have to quack like a duck whenever you’re trying to be quiet or have to roar like a lion whenever you’re trying to be polite?
  • Would you rather have ants constantly crawling on your skin but they’re harmless and whisper compliments or have a single, large spider living in your ear that hums tunes?
  • Would you rather be able to shapeshift into any animal, but only into the most awkward and inconvenient form, or be able to control the weather, but only in a 10-foot radius around yourself?
  • Would you rather have to wear a full-body sheep costume every day or have to wear a full-body peacock costume every day?
  • Would you rather have your dreams filled with talking squirrels planning world domination or have your nightmares filled with an endless parade of tap-dancing penguins?
  • Would you rather have to communicate with your boss by sending coded messages through carrier pigeons or have to present all your work via a puppet show?
  • Would you rather have a pet tarantula that knits you sweaters or a pet slug that writes poetry on your windows?
  • Would you rather have your sweat smell like a zoo or have your tears taste like birdseed?
  • Would you rather be able to transform into a majestic eagle, but only when you’re asleep, or be able to run as fast as a cheetah, but only when you’re trying to catch a bus?

Magical Mishaps

  • Would you rather be able to grant wishes, but every wish has a hilariously unfortunate side effect, or be able to teleport, but you always arrive naked and covered in glitter?
  • Would you rather have the power to turn anything into cheese, but you can’t control what kind of cheese, or have the power to talk to plants, but they only gossip about their neighbors?
  • Would you rather have to sing every command you give with a magical flourish or have to cast every spell with a dramatic, improvised dance?
  • Would you rather have a magic wand that only works on inanimate objects, making them sing opera, or a magic carpet that can only fly at the speed of a turtle?
  • Would you rather have the ability to read minds, but only when people are thinking about breakfast, or have the ability to control time, but only for one second at a time?
  • Would you rather have your magic spells always backfire in a funny way or have your magical potions taste like broccoli and regret?
  • Would you rather have a genie that grants you three wishes, but he’s incredibly literal and always finds loopholes, or a fairy godmother who bestows incredible gifts, but they all come with a catch?
  • Would you rather be able to fly, but only by flapping your arms like a confused goose, or be able to become invisible, but only when no one is looking?
  • Would you rather have a magical book that tells you the future, but it’s always written in riddles and bad poetry, or have a magical compass that points to the nearest source of really good snacks?
  • Would you rather have the power to levitate small objects, but they always float just out of reach, or have the power to control the wind, but it only blows in gentle, annoying breezes?
  • Would you rather have your magical powers activate only when you’re completely embarrassed or have your magical powers only work when you’re singing off-key?
  • Would you rather have a magical amulet that makes you irresistible to squirrels or a magical ring that makes your socks always match?
  • Would you rather be able to speak to ghosts, but they only tell bad dad jokes, or be able to conjure fire, but it’s always just enough to warm up a cup of tea?
  • Would you rather have your invisibility cloak make you glow faintly or have your telekinetic abilities only work on rubber chickens?
  • Would you rather have the ability to control dreams, but you can only implant images of mild inconvenience, or the ability to transform into a superhero, but your costume is made of duct tape and tin foil?
  • Would you rather have your magical spells manifest as a shower of rubber ducks or a cascade of brightly colored socks?
  • Would you rather have a spellbook that only contains recipes for incredibly unappetizing dishes or a spellbook that only contains spells for minor inconveniences?
  • Would you rather have the ability to talk to inanimate objects, but they’re all very sarcastic, or have the ability to see the future, but it’s always a glimpse of someone else’s mundane life?
  • Would you rather have a magical potion that makes you incredibly lucky, but you can only use it once a year, or a magical charm that makes you incredibly unlucky, but it always leads to hilarious situations?
  • Would you rather have your magical transformations only last for five seconds or have your magical abilities only work when you're asleep?

Existential Oddities

  • Would you rather have to live in a world where everyone communicates through interpretive dance or a world where all music is replaced by the sound of a kazoo orchestra?
  • Would you rather have to wear your clothes inside out for the rest of your life or have to wear your shoes on the wrong feet for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather have the ability to know the exact expiration date of every food item you encounter or have the ability to know the exact number of dust bunnies in every room you enter?
  • Would you rather have your life story be narrated by a robot with a monotone voice or a cartoon character with an annoying giggle?
  • Would you rather have to eat every meal standing on one leg or have to sleep in a hammock made of spaghetti?
  • Would you rather have your internal monologue be broadcast to everyone around you or have your thoughts appear as subtitles above your head?
  • Would you rather have to greet everyone you meet with a dramatic bow or have to compliment everyone’s shoes with excessive enthusiasm?
  • Would you rather live in a world where gravity is slightly weaker, making you float more, or a world where rain is made of lukewarm tea?
  • Would you rather have to communicate all your feelings through interpretive dance or have to express all your opinions through opera singing?
  • Would you rather have your dreams be incredibly vivid and realistic, but always about mundane chores, or have your nightmares be incredibly silly and harmless, but happen while you’re awake?
  • Would you rather have to live your life as a character in a poorly written choose-your-own-adventure book, where the choices are always bad, or as a character in a bizarre silent film, where your emotions are exaggerated?
  • Would you rather have to wear a different, absurd hat every day for the rest of your life or have to wear mismatched socks every day for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather have your memories be accessible to everyone, but they’re all fuzzy and distorted, or have your memories only be accessible through a series of complex puzzles?
  • Would you rather have to answer every question with a question or have to respond to every statement with a nonsensical proverb?
  • Would you rather have to spend your entire life trying to fold a fitted sheet perfectly or trying to catch a greased watermelon?
  • Would you rather have your entire life be a musical, but you can’t sing and everyone else can, or be a comedian, but your jokes always fall flat?
  • Would you rather have to eat only bland, beige-colored food or have to wear only neon-colored clothing?
  • Would you rather have to constantly apologize to inanimate objects or have to give a dramatic monologue before every action?
  • Would you rather live in a world where everyone speaks in a whisper or a world where everyone communicates through exaggerated facial expressions?
  • Would you rather have your greatest achievements be forgotten by everyone but you, or have your most embarrassing moments be remembered and celebrated by everyone else?

Cosmic Quandaries

  • Would you rather be able to travel to any planet in the galaxy, but you can only bring one item, or be able to communicate with any alien species, but they only speak in riddles?
  • Would you rather have your home planet be invaded by sentient garden gnomes who want to redecorate everything or be stuck in an eternal debate with an alien species about the best way to fold a fitted sheet?
  • Would you rather have to wear a spacesuit made of tinfoil and duct tape for all intergalactic travel or have to eat all your meals from a ration pack that tastes exclusively like lukewarm despair?
  • Would you rather have a pet alien that looks like a sentient blob of jelly but can predict the stock market or a pet alien that resembles a fuzzy caterpillar but can rewrite your entire personal history?
  • Would you rather have to navigate the universe using a map drawn by a toddler or have to pilot your spaceship with controls that are all labeled in a language you don't understand?
  • Would you rather have your entire spaceship powered by hamster wheels or have your navigation system be controlled by a squirrel with a PhD in astrophysics?
  • Would you rather encounter a benevolent alien race that communicates solely through synchronized swimming or a malevolent alien race that tries to conquer Earth by teaching everyone to knit poorly?
  • Would you rather have the ability to travel through time, but you can only go to Tuesdays, or the ability to teleport, but you always end up in a public restroom?
  • Would you rather have your first contact with aliens be with a species that looks exactly like sentient pieces of toast or a species that communicates entirely through interpretive dance?
  • Would you rather have your spaceship malfunction and leave you stranded on a planet where the inhabitants communicate through interpretive kazoo solos or a planet where the only form of currency is socks?
  • Would you rather have the power to terraform planets, but your terraforming always results in a giant disco ball appearing in the center, or the power to control black holes, but they only suck up glitter?
  • Would you rather have a teleporter that only works on Tuesdays or a teleporter that only transports you one inch at a time?
  • Would you rather have to negotiate peace treaties with alien races using only sock puppets or have to conduct intergalactic diplomacy through the medium of interpretive mime?
  • Would you rather discover a new galaxy, but it’s entirely populated by sentient rubber ducks or discover a new life form, but it’s a single, very opinionated dust bunny?
  • Would you rather have your alien guide be a wise old space hermit who only speaks in limericks or a sassy alien teenager who communicates exclusively through emojis?
  • Would you rather have to solve all cosmic mysteries with a magnifying glass the size of a pea or with a telescope that only shows you pictures of cats?
  • Would you rather your alien overlords demand tribute in the form of perfectly ironed shirts or in the form of intricately folded origami cranes?
  • Would you rather have the ability to speak with the stars, but they only tell you gossip about nebulae, or the ability to control cosmic dust, but it only forms into silly shapes?
  • Would you rather your warp drive be powered by the collective laughter of children or by the silent contemplation of philosophers?
  • Would you rather have to explore the vastness of space with a ship that only travels at the speed of a leisurely stroll or have to communicate with other starships through a series of elaborate charades?

So there you have it – a collection of Absurd Would You Rather Questions that are guaranteed to get your brain buzzing and your funny bone tickled. Whether you're using them to liven up a gathering or just to entertain yourself, these questions offer a unique way to explore the delightfully strange corners of our imagination. They remind us that sometimes, the most fun can be had when we embrace the nonsensical and ponder the truly absurd possibilities of life!

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